Attitude is paramount for surviving the challenges of life and for helping the days and years flow along in a stream of happiness. Mom gave us the gift of life, but also the gift to make it good when she taught us to be kind and polite to others.
Lois Goodman, with Roberta Clayton
Roberta visited with Lois Goodman just before her 103rd birthday in October 2021. Staff members at Windsor Point Retirement Community in Fuquay-Varina told her what a sweetheart Lois is, and that proved to be the secret to everything about her. Here’s her account of a positive life.
Lois was up and dressed for the day. She had her hair curled, nails painted and lipstick on. Her blue outfit was coordinated with the blue stone in one of her rings, and she looked like a picture of health. Well, there’s a reason for that. She IS the picture of health. Her doctor says, “I appreciate you. You make me look good.” First noted was the absence of eyeglasses. She is thrilled with the good sight resulting from routine surgery she had about 30 years ago. That and a tonsillectomy were the only operations she recalled. Her hearing is good enough for a normal conversation and her teeth are her own.
She was born in Smithfield, moved to Raleigh at age three, and spent her life there. Her dad lived into his 70s and her mom into her 60s. The Johnson family included an older sister, a middle brother who went to war, and Lois, the youngest. Her home life was happy and her expectations were sunny. She prayed as a girl to have curly hair but found the only way to achieve that dream was to get a perm. She sang soprano in the choir and enjoyed doing crochet.
Lois Johnson was still a teen when she married the love of her life, Reginald Goodman, in a lovely church ceremony. He had a grocery store, was five years her senior, and a loving companion. Her parents loved her beau as well, and life was good. He got a college degree in business and became an entrepreneur. “He could get a business going real fast.” People saw his success and came forward to buy the businesses. “We had a good life together.” She loved cooking and would host a family meal every Sunday night. She always served fresh vegetables and made a cake and a pie for dessert. As was the style at the time, the Goodmans used to go dancing at popular places with live orchestras.
Reginald and Lois had three sons. The eldest became a dentist and the other two are businessmen. “I adore my three sons,” she confessed. “They each graduated from the state college.” She mentioned four granddaughters and two grandsons, not married. The oldest son was spanked once, helping them all learn to obey the rules. They did not just play but had chores to do. These good boys are now in their 70s and 80s. In those days, people spoke more kindly and were respectful. The only regret she expressed was the modern way of contentious communication.
The apartment is a showplace of family heirlooms, paintings done by her son, photos from her parents’ wedding in the 1800s right up to the present, and carefully arranged furniture to make her feel at home. The staff brings prospective residents around to see the size and placement of her things, so they can visualize a life there. The place is comfortable and well furnished. The food is fine, but she finds she is often just not hungry.
Better than the comfortable surroundings is the fact that her family visits her in Fuquay-Varina all the time. “I am so proud of my sons. They are absolutely the best boys about visiting me.” When asked if they visit every week she replied, “Oh gosh, yes!” Do you see the pattern here? This delightful lady is young at heart. She sees the best in everything and takes an interest in others and their successes. “I was just as happy as I could be. I still am. I’ve been lucky all my life.”
Of aging she says, “I have lived a good life. I’ve been well and been really lucky. I do not have a lot of pain. The doctor said I was a miracle. I’ve enjoyed being old.” There was a big party when she turned 100. For 103, things were more low-key.
There was a scooter in her room, as well as a walker and a cane. Lois got up to walk her visitor out, sharing a hug and a cheerful farewell. She touched the walls lightly instead of using even the cane. She was “up” in every way. Had she not lived so many years, her time on earth would have been equally full of joy. She is an example of making every day the fulfillment of her own positive expectations.
Rochelle Powell, with Valerie Macon
Rochelle Powell celebrated her 100th birthday on May 14, 2021, with family, friends, and neighbors. She was born and raised in Fuquay-Varina and has lived here all her life. Rochelle lives in her home with some assistance. She says she does not get out much, but she does go to church.
She recalls losing her husband as one of the most difficult times in her life. She describes her husband, who passed fifteen years ago, as “the most wonderful husband that ever lived in this world.” He had several farms in Willow Spring where he grew tobacco and cotton. They had three children, a boy and two girls, who all live nearby. “Back then, everybody knew everybody, and neighbors helped each other.”
Rochelle talks about Fuquay-Varina back when there were only dirt roads running through. A huge oak tree had to be cut down to pave the first road through Varina. She recalls two movie theaters, one in Fuquay and one in Varina, a bank, and Stevens Hardware Store. Wake Chapel was there also, which she still attends. She remembers Ashworths used to carry a few ladies’ clothes, and how she could always find something pretty for herself there. She also recalls, “People would come in on the train carrying their jugs to get some of that water at Fuquay Mineral Spring; they would drink it to make them feel better. And there was a hotel near the Spring.”
Her dad owned a general merchandise store located near Stevens Hardware Store. He sold groceries, fabric, canned goods, penny candy and Red Goose Shoes. Rochelle would help at the store and remembers how she picked out a pair for herself to wear.
She was most influenced by her mother. “She taught me how to do right; to treat everybody good; to be nice, kind, polite and courteous. And that you should treat others how you would like to be treated, to be patient with people.”
Thara Bonebreak turned 102 on December 4, 2021. An 11-year resident of Fuquay-Varina, Thara lives in independent living at Windsor Point. She is bright, articulate, and cheerful as she tells me the stories of her life, a life she describes as a good, normal life filled with good friends, friends who learned from each other. “In general,” she says, “I had a smooth life; I took life as it came.” And she didn’t let anything get her down, even a bout with cancer in 1999, which she overcame, surprising her doctors with her laughter and good humor.
Prior to her marriage at the end of World War II, Thara worked in the legal department of Armstrong Cork Company (currently known as Armstrong). She describes this as a happy time of her life, filled with nice people. After she married, she didn’t work outside the home. Her husband, a chemist who worked shifts, liked her to be home when he was off. She had a happy family life and successful children and grandchildren.
When asked about the biggest challenges she has had in her life she says, “I’ve had a very good, stable life before and after I was married; life was easy, and I never had any big problems.” One challenge, however, does stand out to her. That is, finding a suitable place for her mother to live when her husband’s job required him to relocate to Venezuela. At the time, her aged mother was living with them and she was unable to go with them out of the country. How to provide care for her mother was a real challenge. But after lots of prayer, an ideal situation was found for her to stay with a widow who was delighted to have her. Thara and her husband spent seven and a half happy years in Venezuela.
She does have some advice for living long and living well. Her parents, who she credits with having the most influence on her life, taught her to be happy with what she had and not to expect lavish things, as they lived during the depression. Even through those times, her family got along okay since her father kept his job.
Her parents also taught her to be polite and nice to people, and not to take advantage of people. They told her, “Be kind to others because you never know when you might need them to help you.” Living this way has worked out well for her. Thara and her husband have had lots of friends and cherished friendships. They stayed in touch with their best friends. In fact, Thara’s best friend, Russell, who she grew up with from grade school, just died at age 101. Now Russell’s son continues to keep in touch with her by letter.
When asked to talk about the most important things she has learned in her lifetime, Thara enumerates several lessons: “1. Always be kind to people; that’s the way I tried to live. 2. You can discuss, but never argue politics. 3. Never judge people by the positions they hold; accept them for the hard work they accomplished to get to that position. 4. People appreciate a person who works hard to improve their community.”
Thara has, indeed, worked hard in her community throughout her life. She was involved with Girl Scouts; she was secretary of the County PTA and also secretary of the local PTA; she was involved in church activities; she taught Sunday school to young boys; she was involved in church Christmas pageants for many years (because she could memorize well); she worked in Vacation Bible School each summer; and she was involved in the Women’s Civic Club for 30 years doing lots of local town activities. She still hasn’t stopped being involved. For the past seven years, she has continued to volunteer in the library at Windsor Point.
Her formula for living 102 years? Besides eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, she continues to cherish the best things in life: family, friends, and community.
