Imagine.
Being 36 years old and newly returned to dance, something you’ve loved since childhood. You recently bought the first pair of pink tights and ballet slippers that you’ve had in decades, along with a new leotard that fits better than the old ones. You decided to audition for your town’s annual production of “The Nutcracker” and somehow you got in. Now you find yourself behind a theater curtain, dressed in a dance costume, listening to Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s classical music and anticipating your entrance, when you will run on stage and dance once more. It’s been a while.
If you studied dance as a child, you likely encountered a large picture book called “A Very Young Dancer,” written by photographer Jill Krementz and published in 1976. In it, a ten-year-old student at the School of American Ballet in New York describes her classes as well as her preparations for, and the performance of, her role in the “The Nutcracker.” In one memorable photograph, she gazes up at the Sugar Plum Fairy (a principal dancer) who is warming up at the barre, wearing a tiara on her head and a pair of satin pointe shoes on her feet. This book and several others have inspired the dreams of many young dancers and helped them to learn ballet stories and study dance techniques.
Being an annual tradition and a show that’s frequently performed at local dance schools and in community centers, “The Nutcracker” has been inspiring young dancers’ dreams for more than a century. A fairytale ballet set in two acts and centered on a family’s Christmas Eve celebration, the story was written by E.T.A. Hoffmann and adapted for the stage by Alexandre Dumas Père. It was set to music by Tchaikovsky and originally choreographed by Marius Petipa (folks these days are more familiar with George Balachine’s version). The ballet premiered a week before Christmas 1892 at the Moscow Imperial Theatre.
It’s a tradition.
The Fuquay-Varina Arts Center (FVAC) just completed another successful year of “The Nutcracker” performances in December 2022. Despite having to adjust how the show ran during the COVID-19 outbreak years, this was the fourth year of the show and it was back in the theater at full capacity! A total of 1,121 tickets were sold for four shows, and there was a full house for the related “Tea with the Sugar Plum Fairy” activity.
The FVAC’s “The Nutcracker” is indeed a community production. For the 2022 show, there were 63 performers, 7 choreographers, 11 designers and technicians, and 21 volunteers. The performers ranged from age 7 to 36, and they presented diverse dance styles, while the choreographers ranged from teenagers to 52-year-olds (several of them had danced in “The Nutcracker”). There were actors, too, as the show included an original narrated script.
As Maureen Daly, FVAC director, noted, “The Town supports community programs year-round. Creating and supporting community programs does so much more than educate and entertain; they give us the opportunity to highlight and celebrate all the members of our community. The arts are a powerful tool for expanding our perception and connecting with others.”
At the ballet.
We wanted to revisit the FVAC’s last production of “The Nutcracker,” with a focus on the older dancers who were involved and what the experience was like for them. Included in the cast were three adult females (the only older dancers), all of whom coincidentally were 36 years old at the time. Their names and roles were as follows: Rachel Atkin (Mom/Sugar Plum Fairy soloist), Ashley Avent (Snow Queen soloist), and Mariel Carrasco (Russian dancer).
The FVAC’s “The Nutcracker” was a different tale from the original ballet. It was a sequel, of sorts, but included Tchaikovsky’s original musical score. For the Fuquay-Varina tale, it was Mom who had the magical doll experience. Her doll gets broken by her kids during a party with friends. She then sends the kids on a magical journey to learn important lessons about empathy, respect and joy, among other concepts. Thanks to a volunteer who recorded the opening night show on video, you can watch it online, although a couple of dances are just shown in part: https://youtu.be/1qpRP_k4Ixs.
Dancing the role of Mom and the Sugar Plum Fairy (en pointe!) was a “dream come true” for Rachel Atkin, who auditioned because Maureen Daly (her director for “Nunsense,” shown previously at the FVAC), had encouraged her to try out. Maureen said, “She had such a positive response for her dancing in the play.” Rachel thought it would be a fun way to bring in the holiday season with her daughters (Katie and Leah), so all three of them auditioned and all three were cast! She was “excited to make this memory with them.”
Rachel always “dreamed of being a ballerina with a beautiful costume, dancing en pointe,” but never expected it to actually happen. She thought it too unlikely because she hadn’t been trained. But she said, “I can see how certain choices in the last few years have gradually led to this.” Rachel had taken “a couple of dance classes in high school and college—some modern, character dance, ballroom, etc,” but “never followed a traditional dance instruction program, where I could progress from one level to the next.”
Rachel grew up in a family “who enjoys the performing arts.” She said that she and her siblings “did plays in high school,” and that her “entire family can quote just about every movie we’ve ever watched (usually in one conversation).” She added that her kids have definitely picked up the theater bug, and also that, for her, “It’s so much fun to make people laugh and smile. There’s just something about knowing they’re about to laugh when they don’t know it that tickles me. Plus, the lights, the costumes, the excitement… It’s just so much fun; I love it.”
When asked how she reacted when she found out she’d been cast as the Mom/Sugar Plum Fairy, Rachel said, “I was so excited, but honestly, after watching all the other dancers audition, I was also kind of shocked. They were all so good, I felt humbled. I’m still pinching myself.” She said she felt like an imposter and was her “own worst critic.” But she reminded herself that she’d been chosen for the role. She said, “It’s such a mental game for me to let go of my insecurities and just go out and enjoy the moment, but I have a lot more fun when I do that.”
Rachel felt more comfortable as an actress but said she “was able to translate some of that acting into creating an empathetic Sugar Plum.” She was glad she was able to pick up on the dance choreography quickly, which she credits to her time dancing as a child and studying dance fundamentals in books (“thanks DK Eyewitness!”). She says she really pays attention to what her body is “supposed to feel and look like during a performance,” so that she “can imagine the whole picture.”
Rachel mentioned that “this experience has been like no other I’ve been involved in because I feel like I’m eight all over again… It really was magical to be wearing a shoe that feels like it was made for you. Trying on costumes, having a really great rehearsal, feeling the satisfaction of dancing gracefully, it’s all still kind of unbelievable. I’ve been so grateful for these moments.”
Rachel was especially happy to be involved with the Sugar Plum Tea. She remembered when she was younger, “being completely in awe of seeing a ballerina in her tutu and pointe shoes that I almost cried.” She was worried that she’d cry when she went in to see “other little people (hopefully) with the same excitement in their faces! It’s so much fun to bring dreams to life!”
For Ashley Avent (who noted that she is an “avid reader of Suburban Living magazine and looks forward to each issue, so it’s cool to be included”), dance had been a part of her life since she was five years old. Growing up, she took dance classes (ballet, tap, jazz, pointe, modern, lyrical, and hip-hop) at Rocky Mount Dance Academy and Kat McCord Dance, and later taught at both studios. After high school, she taught dance at Studio B in Wilson before attending UNC-Wilmington, where she took ballet, hip-hop and modern classes and performed in the university’s spring showcases. She was on the dance team for the Wilmington Hammerheads, a semi-professional soccer team, while there.
After college, Ashley moved to Florida and worked at Busch Gardens Tampa as a performer in their entertainment department, then “took quite a few years off from dancing.” Before she started attending classes at the FVAC in 2022, she had not taken formal dance classes in about 10 years. “So, I was rather nervous. I stayed active with Pilates, yoga, and weightlifting but had yet to find a dance studio where I felt comfortable to take classes since moving back to NC.” A month prior to “The Nutcracker” auditions, she “started doing ballet classes I found on YouTube to help get myself back in ballet shape. Going into auditions I told myself the role doesn’t matter; I was just excited to have an opportunity to be on stage and dance again.”
Ashley auditioned for “The Nutcracker” because she’d been in the ballet as a child and loved it, dancing the roles of Party Guest and Mouse. As an older teenager, she had the chance to dance the role of Clara, which, she said, “is a dream of every little ballerina, I think.” During that show, the role of the Nutcracker Prince was danced by a professional guest dancer from the Carolina Ballet, and she had the opportunity to dance a pas de deux with him. She noted this was “one of my most memorable ballet experiences.”
For the FVAC show, Ashley said she was “very excited to earn the role of the Snow Queen, especially having not formally danced in so long.” It was a new role for her, and the Waltz of the Snowflakes music is one of her favorite pieces in the ballet. She said, “It was a challenge for me because this was my first time performing as an adult and I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist.” During rehearsals, she had to remind herself that she “wasn’t age 18 anymore.” She added, “I might not be able to jump as high or turn as many times as I used to, but the art of ballet never really leaves you. Once a dancer, always a dancer!”
Ashley was glad to find a place to dance where she felt comfortable to re-explore her “love for ballet.” She was excited to be on stage with her fellow dancers “showing off all the hard work everyone has put into this production.” She said, “I would just encourage other adults who might want to get back into a hobby or sport from their younger days, to go for it! Often, we as adults get the idea that we are ‘too old’ for something, but age really is just a number and you shouldn’t let this mindset hold you back.”
Mariel Carrasco has attended “The Nutcracker” shows almost yearly for the past 10-12 years. She says, “From dance academies to professionals, for me there is just something magical about it.” Mariel studied ballet from ages 2 to 9. “When I was a little girl, I danced in the Dominican Republic.” When she was 16-17, she did some flamenco and belly dance. Then, she said, she “started college, masters, work, and never got a chance to get back into dancing.”
Mariel began taking classes as an adult at the FVAC in 2022. Her three-year-old daughter started ballet there recently as well. (“Those classes,” she said, “are such adorable chaos.”) They attended the Sugar Plum Tea together. Mariel had doubts at first about auditioning for “The Nutcracker” since she had less than three months of dancing in as an adult and a young child at home (she says she would not have been able to do this without her husband’s support). But Brittany Scott, her FVAC dance teacher, “encouraged me to go and I did not regret any second.” She enjoys performing and said, “There is a freeing sensation of being on stage.”
Mariel was “very excited!” when she found out she’d been cast in the show, as well as “a little scared I would make the other dancers not look as good.” She added, “I don’t remember the last time I had to remember choreography. I know there is muscle memory, but it was challenging at first,” especially since many of the actual steps she was learning were ballet moves she had not done before (“or maybe I did when I was 9”). But she added, “You are never too old to start (or restart) something you love. If there’s a will, there’s a way.”
When asked what she liked best about the experience, Mariel responded, “If you’d have asked me right after the last show, I would have said the adrenaline from being on stage… but after I got home and I was putting my toddler to bed, she told me ‘Good night, Mommy. I love you. I am very proud of you.’” She said that was “the best part by far.” Mariel was grateful to have been given the “opportunity to participate with this amazing cast.” She was glad she “was able to participate in her favorite ballet” and added that “being back on stage as an adult, after 25+ years—it was priceless.”
Repeat performances.
When asked whether, given the time and ability, they’d like to participate in other shows at the FVAC (where there are many artistic opportunities), or elsewhere—for all three of these 36-year-old dancers, the answer was “yes.” Rachel said, “I definitely want to be involved with the Arts Center again. I’ve been so lucky to have worked with some really incredible people that I’d jump at the chance to work with them again! I’ve been really impressed with the quality and caliber of performances and classes the Arts Center has to offer.” Ashley would “love to get involved with more shows at the Arts Center.” And Mariel “would love to be a part of anything ballet-related.”
All are welcome.
As Isadora Duncan said, “Dance is the movement of the universe concentrated in an individual,” but dance also has the power to bring people together. A community can be seen in many ways and refer to different kinds of groups. The people who each year create Fuquay-Varina’s “The Nutcracker” are a community filled with creative people who care about each other regardless of age, training and skill level. They work with devoted effort to produce a really good show for the supportive audiences who see the production each year, and also a truly great experience for those involved behind, and in, the scenes.
It sounds like all three of these older dancers—Rachel, Ashley and Mariel—had great on- and off-stage experiences and have intentions to keep involved with their local arts, as well as to continue studying dance. Thanks to them for allowing us to share their experiences here with you. We hope you find their words and actions inspiring and take the time yourself to get involved in your community arts and theater. The Sugar Plum Fairy (Rachel) has a good final thought for us all: “Maybe the moral of the story is to keep dreaming!”
—Dreams can become reality, sometimes when you least expect it.
